Sunday, March 16, 2003


March 16, 2003

I’m coming to you tonite from Arutz Sheeeeeva (sing)

I’m here with my good friend Johnny – You know Johnny – poor guy – he doesn’t have a car, he goes everywhere by foot – my friend Johnny – he’s a real Walker.
Ha Ha Ha – Get the joke?
Purim in Hebron – you know, everyone says we’re extremists, and they’re right - we have so much fun on Purim that we go to extremes – we have Purim, not for one day, but for TWO days. And what a time it is.

There’s a special mitzvah – ad d’lo yadah – we have to become so enamoured with Johnny, or with one of his comrades – the red variety, the white variety, or anything in between – you know what I mean – l’chaim – but back to where we were, where was that? Yeah, the mitzvah of Ad d’lo yadah – we have to reach a state – no, not that kind of state – don’t you understand anything – we’re against a state – let’s try again – we have to drink so much that we don’t know the difference between the blessed Mordechai and the cursed Haman – Here in Hebron, we know them both very well and in order to reach such elevated heights we have to inebriate ourselves for, not one day, but two days. Do you have any idea how many bottles of wine, or JW or B&W, or anything else, you can  put away in two days?

Well, I’ll tell you – no, as a matter of fact I won’t tell you – you should come try it out – and when you do, you’ll be sure to come back and do it again next year.

Now, let me fill you in about the fun we have here.
There are three really big events on Purim.
First, we have an Ad d’lo Yadah – no, not that, I already told you about that – that’s the liquid side  - we have a parade, with all the kids dressed up in their Purim costumes – you should see it, sometimes it’s really scary – Lions and tigers and bears, oh no
And kings, and queens, and all sorts of interesting creatures, with green and blue hair. Yeah, I know, there are places where that’s the norm – but in Hebron, well, you know, the fads take a long time to get to us – we’re still into caves and things like that.
But that’s not really the scary stuff – sometimes we get really weird visitors – last year Shimon Peres showed up – at least it looked like Peres – you know, the theme of Purim is Na’afoch hu – everything is upside down and backwards – I guess even he celebrates Purim and joins our Purim Parade –

We have a big wagon with musicians and we parade from the hill to our good ole cave, singing, dancing, and having a really great time.

You have to see it to believe it – or even better – to experience it –

And then after that’s over, for everyone who’s still on his feet – you know, women and children and wall flowers, we have a community banquet – and you know what we eat, bottles and bottles of vino – Yayin – in whatever language you want – wine – you know what they say, nichnas yayin, yozei sod – that means, for all of you bores, who don’t know the holy language – the wine goes in, and the secrets come out – and boy, do we have a lot of secrets in Hebron, for instance, did you ever hear about secret of Ma’arat HaMachpela, you know, when – wait, wait, you can’t hear secrets like that on the radio – a secret should stay a secret, right? At least until everyone is so far gone that they’ll never remember it the next day.

We have a special guest at our Purim party – the Admor from Rumeida – Kavod Harav ben Yitzhak – the guy with 14 kids – you should see him on Purim – Wow! He tells it the way it is, and has even been known to do a little song and dance number –

Do you know how many times we hear Megillat Esther – four times – at night, in the morning, again at night, (for everyone who’s still awake after the Purim party banquet) and then again, in the morning – L’chaim. After hearing it four times, you get to know it really well, year after year after year – yeah, well that’s the custom.

There a whatever - thing - big,ve a big toy lottery - with . in the morning - L'number -
 when u reate And then the second day – aside from the wine and everything else, we have a shuk – no, not that shuk – that’s been closed for years – we have a purim shuk – a real carnival, for the kids – again, the extremists in action – they throw wet, soapy sponges at faces in targets – and search for buried treasure – and, well, with the kids all dressed up – it’s really great fun.
And then, topping it off, we have a big toy lottery – with dozens of prizes – l’chaim.
Everybody wins something – big, small, whatever –

Purim in Hebron – two full days of ad d’lo yadah – it’s really something special – you’re all invited – don’t miss it. It’s BYOB – and that’s plural my friend, - b o t t l e s  - don’t forget the S

L’chaim from Hebron!!!

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